Path to Nowhere
by Renamon15
Summary: While Shisui seeks comfort and liberation in his best friend, while trying to help him through his hardships and high expectations of their Clan, Itachi accepts it and forms a new bond, bond that will be tragically severed and lead him to a path of darkness. Follows Itachi Shinden (Itachi's story) events. Written for ShiIta Week event from last year. ShiIta friendship.
1. Confession

**Author's note: This was originally written for shiitaweek (prompt: confession) event held on tumblr last year so you're probably familiar with it if you followed me on tumblr. As my first fanfic I decided to put two fanfics from there and one new chapter as one whole piece.**

 **Warning: Even though I haven't read Itachi shinden (Itachi's story) novels, this fanfic follows the events of novels. I wrote them after reading some excerpts from Itachi shinden (Itachi's story), which means it still contains SPOILERS.**

* * *

Shisui carefully watched him, as his kunai hits the center of the target every time.

Such a flawless skill he is the witness of.  
He can do the same thing.  
But, this kid is younger than him and he is so talented, it's like déjà vu.  
He had seen something like this before, when he was training with his former best friend.  
Back then, he couldn't stand someone being as good as him. Back then, he watched with envy.

Now, he is watching with a hint of sadness and guilt in his facial expression.  
His sin is what destroyed him and made him who he is.  
The committed act that gave him the new power: Mangekyo Sharingan.  
He is standing still, watching his new friend being as good as him. He feels his hand trembling, the same hand that refused to save his friend from falling to death.

The grief was eating him, he couldn't handle it anymore. Young genin wanted to recover from that so badly.  
He swore on his life that he will never do it again.

Then, he overheard a conversation. Clan members were talking about a young prodigy that is Fugaku-sama's son: Uchiha Itachi.  
Shisui wanted to witness that with his own two eyes. It was true.

His skills were splendid. Even the adults couldn't do things he could.  
Just what made this kid so good?  
He wanted to ask, wanted to approach him. But he couldn't, not yet.  
The mistake from his past threatened him as if wanting to bite.  
So he just watched him from the shadows, day by day.  
Marveling at his determination and will to be even better than now, that kid definitely had a big goal. Shisui could feel it.

Watching Itachi, Shisui finally found strength to approach him.  
And ask him to be his friend.

Now, they're training together, they're each other's best training companions.  
Spending time with Itachi slowly healed Shisui's heart.  
He felt something he had never felt before.  
He wanted to protect his new little friend, to shield him from any harm, to encourage him and help him reach his goals.  
Shisui's feelings are so pure now, without any trace of envy.  
All he feels is love.

\- Shisui, what are you thinking about? – Asked Itachi after noticing that Shisui has been staring in the distance for a while.  
\- I want to tell you something, Itachi. – Said Shisui without changing his expression.  
Itachi was slightly confused. – What is it?  
Shisui slowly approached him and gently pulled his small warm body into a hug. A five-year year old prodigy was even more confused by his friend's sudden action.  
\- You're my best friend, Itachi. – Said Shisui pulling Itachi closer to himself.

Best friend? Does that mean that he is the one he trusts the most?  
This sudden confession made Itachi discover new feelings as well.


	2. Hardship and Touch

**Author's note: This chapter was originally written for ShiIta week event held on tumblr last year (prompt: hardship/touch).**

* * *

His duties and responsibilities were a big weight placed on his back.

Even a prodigy like him couldn't bear them.  
Clan's philosophy is something he can't agree with.  
Fugaku's distrust is hurting him. His father doubts him, and he has made his subordinates order his best friend, Shisui, to spy on him.

Shisui could tell by his friend's expression that he is sad.  
And he can understand that. His own father is very sick and doesn't even recognize him. Even though he said that he is ready to accept his death, he still can't stay completely indifferent towards it.  
So he kind of understands Itachi.  
Fugaku's distrust also says that he is not able to recognize his son. The fact that he is powerful, healthy and conscious makes it hurt even more. And the whole clan is on his side.  
There is no way he'll let his best friend fight alone against that.

They're both lucky because Shisui is chosen for this task.  
He would never betray his friend; never tell his true motives to the Clan.  
And they'll trust him. They believe that Shisui is loyal only to the Clan.

Itachi knows for sure he can count on Shisui.  
He could trust him with his life.  
He had told him everything he knows about ANBU, Danzo and Konoha's Council, something he could never tell anyone else from the Clan.  
Only Shisui knows about surveillance camera's blind spot where they can't track them. They secretly meet at the Nakano River to discuss.

Shisui wanted Itachi to know that he will always be there for him, no matter what. He also wants to comfort him, to lighten the weight he feels.  
Actually, both of them seek comfort in each other.  
They're kindred souls to each other.  
They need each other's presence that will remind them that they're not alone.

\- Shisui, thank you for being here. – Itachi manages to say with a smile.  
\- I will always be here for you my friend.  
Shisui doesn't only say that, he means it, he proves it. Itachi can relax for a moment.  
Cold breeze of the dusk makes contact with his skin and he shivers a bit.  
Shisui notices that, and while smiling widely, he pulls his friend into a warm hug.  
Itachi, very familiar with such physical contact, lets himself to be enveloped with warmth that even cold breeze can't break.  
He rests his head on Shisui's chest, feeling his steady breathing.  
Warmth starts filling even his insides.  
His best friend's touch lifts off the weight of hardship in his heart.

His little brother Sasuke can offer him the same feeling.  
But Sasuke is an innocent child and Itachi can't open up to him and be honest like he can to Shisui.  
Sasuke mustn't know what the Clan is planning. So he can't say that he will solve that and everything will be fine.

Shisui feels Itachi's arms wrapped around his torso and his warm hands slightly clutching his shirt.  
\- Everything will be fine. – He whispered knowing Itachi wanted to hear that.  
He wanted to stay optimistic and believe that nothing could go wrong.


	3. Farewell

**Author's note: This is the final chapter I didn't manage to finish during, ShIita week event. But now It's here. Enjoy.  
**

* * *

Itachi feels broken and empty, as he stands behind Shisui on the edge of cliff.  
His dreams shattered, his soul clad in darkness.  
 _How can he keep up with his dream without his best friend beside him?  
When he knows that Shisui is still breathing, he also feels alive. He is still alive, but he feels like he isn't. He is dead inside, left alone to solve everything by himself. What should he do? Danzo doesn't trust them._  
Even when his vision is blurred by his tears, he only sees clear darkness, darkness that is his path to nowhere. After everything he had done, after everything he achieved and fought for. It feels like everything just fell apart, crashed on him. He feels worthless, now his prodigy title means nothing to him, he doesn't feel like the one. Shisui was the one who did everything. Shisui tried to find solution, Shisui tried to change Fugaku's mind. With his own power, and he failed.  
If Itachi was better, if he tried harder, maybe that wouldn't have happened. Even though he had never wasted time, it feels like he just wasted it all, for nothing. Even though everyone confirmed he was the best, he feels like he isn't.  
That's how much his best friend's current state hurt him. Like everything Itachi learned about teamwork with his best friend and partner was just a bunch of definitions that passed through his head. Now, he is despising himself, considers himself worthless. His dream to become Hokage, to end all conflicts, to be the best shinobi everyone will follow, to protect people close to him, wanting to start from his Clan and Village, now seems like an illusion.  
He and Shisui carefully paved their goal, carefully thought about it; it seemed so real and possible. Now it feels like it was just path to nowhere.  
One part of him believed it's still not over. Because his heart wanted to shout to Shisui:  
 _''don't die'', ''If you give up, everything will be over'', ''It's still not over'', ''A shinobi fights until the end''_  
 _But also, how could he, what a Shinobi without his eyes, an Uchiha without his most precious strength can do? Wouldn't that be selfish of him?_ He remained silent as his heart clenched in pain and sob escaped from his mouth. _Crying was a weakness, shinobi mustn't do it, but isn't he feeling weak and vulnerable right now?_ His tears were spontaneous and uncontrollable, if Shisui dies, he would be completely broken.  
When Shisui spoke, confessing what he did to his former best friend; refused to help him, being jealous at him, betrayed him. Along with that, he revealed how he got his power everyone feared - Mangekyo Sharingan. After initial surprise, knowing about his best friend's sin after all this time, Itachi still feels close to him, still feeling lively pulsing of the invisible wire that connected their souls.  
Shisui tells him he is a valuable shinobi. _Itachi doesn't feel like that now, but he keeps it to himself, wondering if it's alright to suddenly be so closed and insincere, when there is so much weight pressing on his vulnerable heart._

Shisui never showed such envious trait toward him. He'd always supported him and believed in him, which will make Itachi even more miserable after losing him. Even now, he will make something out of his death; he will give Itachi new power. No matter how his friend might feel about himself right now, he has great potential, he might be able to achieve what he desires, and Shisui's sacrifice would help him. He won't last long anyway. Staying alive would be risky for the Village. If Uchihas find out what Danzo did to him, they would snap and war would break out immediately. So he made it look like suicide, by leaving note in his room before going to meet up with Itachi.  
\- I'll leave the rest to you. – He said with a smile that disappeared from his face that same moment. He was glad he had him in his life and in his last moments, but also…  
He knew how Itachi would feel, he felt like crying too, he knew it by the way his throat felt like there was something clawing inside of it. He took a deep breath when he felt his friend's trembling hands on his back, slowly pushing him off the cliff. Shisui wanted to help him by letting his body fall down, but he remained stiff. It hurt him, but he had to let Itachi do it with his own hands. In order to immediately unlock a great power. He heard sniffing and barely audible sobbing when Itachi's hands pushed him harder.  
' _'Go on Itachi, do it._ '' He thought, like he wanted to escape this feeling because it started to hurt so much. '' _I'm really sorry Itachi…for leaving you like this…farewell… and I'll always believe in you_.'' Those were his final thoughts that never became spoken words. Next thing he felt was an adrenaline rush when he fell from a great height.

Then, he was gone, no longer alive.

Itachi stands alone, air around him becoming cold. Presence that always comforted him is no longer here. He couldn't stand the cold. His body that desperately needed warmth suddenly became so hot, the most intense burning he felt inside his eyes. Burning similar to the one he felt when his teammate Tenma died, but much stronger this time.  
Even though Shisui will no longer walk on Earth beside him, he will always live within Itachi, their ties still exist. This newly awakened power, Mangekyo Sharingan, is the proof of that.  
\- I'll stop them Shisui, I promise.  
No matter how weak and worthless he felt, he will not let Shisui's death be in vain. He'll get his revenge and he will stop the Clan, even if that means walking in darkness.

He can still stop this war from breaking out. Shisui believes in him, it's not over. There is still someone he has to protect, someone who can keep him sane, his little brother.  
Itachi will use all his strength in order to keep him safe, to make him live a peaceful life, in his Village where he will always be welcomed and where he will be loved. Sasuke will have a path of glory and safe future while Itachi will keep moving along his path to nowhere.


End file.
